How am I demonstrating value?
By giving her my approval.
1. By telling her what I like about her, I’m showing her that I’m coming from a place of confidence.
2. By qualifying her — or, as Woodhaven and/or Dimitri would say — “intention mapping” her, I’m also showing her that I’m coming from a place of confidence.
3. By disqualifying myself — while confidently showing that I really don’t believe what I’m saying — I’m also showing her that I’m coming from a place of confidence.
Question: do I disqualify the specific or the general?
Question: do I approve the specific or the general?
Disqualify the General, Qualify the Specific: http://sexrevolutionblog.com//?p=68
Approve the Specific. It’s more genuine… and feels more legitimate. The girl appreciates that more.
It’s very rare that you have to actively demonstrate value. Any demonstration of value is passive if you are truly confident and is mostly conveyed through your non-verbal communication (body language, tonality, fashion… etc). By talking about yourself and your life, you are already showing value (aka: I went to a party last night = you are social, I want to travel for work = you are ambitious? etc…). You don’t ever have to really DHV.
As for qualifying/intention mapping, it shows that you are coming from a place of value. People of high value and confidence have standards. They expect people to behave a certain way around them. Qualifying is putting the standard out and compliment/reinforcing/rewarding the behavior that you like.
I hope this helps.
Thanks so much for the invaluable insight, ITotem. And, thanks so much for stopping by. Your site is truly an inspiration and I always look forward to your posts. You really seem to be such a positive voice in the community and I hope you know it’s appreciated.
Well thank you. I’d love to hear some of your feedback sometimes. Feel free to comment on the posts you like on my blog