Situational Relevance
According to Vincent of the Approach, situational relevance (SitRel) consists of three components: (i) energy; (ii) context; and (iii) comprehension level. Here’s my understanding of this:
1. ENERGY
Match her energy level. Make it a little bit higher than hers — but only a little.
2. CONTEXT
Don’t rapidly jump between seemingly random topics. Unfortunately, I have a bad habit of doing this all the time. This of course, creates the impression that I’m nervous. Better to appear relaxed.
3. COMPREHENSION
Match her comprehension level. If she’s talking about light topics — keep it light. If she’s discussing deeper ideas — then go deep.
Comprehension level is more dependent on the venue, not as much as the person.
Comprehension level is inversely proportional to stimulus (alcohol, fatigue, noise/music). So throughout the course of the night, comp. level will drop at a bar.
At the beginning, music is still low, people aren’t tired or drunk yet… so you can make longer sentences and stories. As you get closer to last call, people are tired and drunk, so you need to talk in smaller, shorter sentences… and doing more jokes-like type of comments.
In Vin’s newest Dating Diablo program, context is now renamed as emotional depth.
“If she’s talking about light topics – keep it light. If she’s discussing deeper ideas – then go deep.”
Interesting. This isn’t bad advice. But there is something to be said for leading the interaction.
If she mentions she’s a painter, instead of just asking “what do you paint,” consider leading it deeper “what inspires you, how do you feel when you finish a painting,” etc.