Developing and Applying a More Positive Mental Attitude
So, I recently went on a series of dates with this one woman. I have to admit, I’m not sure that we really had any sort of connection, but I was definitely attracted to her. (I think I have a nose ring fetish.) We ended up making out a few times, but didn’t really progress much after that.
I think one of the reasons why I didn’t create the connection is because I forgot to be a “yes and” type person.
What do I mean by that?
I forgot to be agreeable and positive and to build on that.
So, instead, I came off as a bit judgmental.
Not good.
(Oh, did I mention, I forgot to flirt?)
So, I think I’m going to write a few posts based on this experience.
My first few ideas come from Buddhism.
THE EIGHTFOLD PATH. The Eightfold Path consists of
- right view (sho-ken)
- right thought (sho-shi)
- right speech (sho-go)
- right action (sho-gyo)
- right livelihood (sho-myo)
- right effort (sho-shojin)
- right mindfulness (sho-nen)
- right concentration (sho-jo).
I think in the end, this can be summed up as being careful with the words we use when we speak to others, as well as the words that we use when we speak to ourselves.
So, from this, we get two personal commitments to myself:
1) Be careful with how I speak to others. Am I conveying myself in a positive way? As a confident man?
2) Be careful with how I speak to myself. Am I telling myself that I’m a confident man? That I’m an attractive person? That I will meet someone with all the characteristics that I’m looking for?
Much has been made in the community about the movie The Secret. If one adheres to those principles, then this is a technique of tapping into them. If one is less mystical, then these techniques will lead to a healthier way of thinking. Either way, it’s a victory. (As some say, all game is inner game). I definitely plan on addressing these two thoughts more thoroughly in the future.
In the meantime, here’s a link to a great interview conducted by Eric aka Disco. http://approachanxiety.com/?p=123. Brad P sounds like a really cool guy who did a tremendous amount of self-development. Eric asked some really insightful questions, which isn’t really surprising, because his blog tends to be very thoughtful.
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